You Are What You Think You Are

As a car salesman, part of Chris’s daily routine is to spend two hours each morning talking to prospects to set up appointments. When he first started, he was quite nervous and his calls reflected it in his hesitant voice and unfocused conversation. He noted, however, that after the rousing sales meeting held each Monday, he had more confidence and was able to schedule far more appointments. The trouble was that that confidence quickly faded by Tuesday, let alone the rest of the week. Then he had an idea. Without telling a soul, he went off by himself each morning and gave himself a pep talk. He’d repeat how good of a sales person he was, how great the cars were and how much the people needed them. By the time he’d speak with the prospects on the phone, he knew he was doing them a favor. It payed off and be was able to successfully make those calls each day and feel he wanted to speak with every prospect.
Have you ever had to deliver a speech, maybe a simple toast, and have it totally flop? Can you recall the self talk you engaged in just minutes before the event? I’m guessing you were thinking about how nervous you were. You might have even been telling yourself not to mess it up.
Let me tell you about Oliver. He had a ten-minute presentation on being a leader to give. He was so nervous that after stumbling and stammering for about 5 minutes, he sat down defeated. The organizer of the training met with him the next day and gave him some advice which he followed to the letter. He went to a room by himself and talked to himself…a pep talk. He repeated for several minutes phrases such as, “I’ve got a message that people want to hear and I want to say”. You could say a miracle took place. The difference was astounding! I see it every day. I know better and yet, I’ve done it myself. We all want to look good. Nobody wants to be the fool. So we worry ourselves right into defeat.
You are what you think your are…
Have you ever noticed when you feel good or are confident, you stand a little taller with your eyes a little brighter and your smile a little wider? When you nervous, your shoulders close in a little bit, you avoid other people’s eyes or you tend to fidget? When you believe you have something important to say that someone else really wants or needs to hear, you may bend forward, look straight at them, or have more intensity in your voice. It’s all how you think about yourself and your message.
I remember years ago trying to call prospects to list their homes for sale. After a few run ins with tough questions, I began to wonder what value I brought the prospective client. Quickly I had tremendous difficulty in making phone calls, let alone setting appointments. Believing I didn’t have the value for my clients made it so. It took a lot of work to believe in what I was doing. I had to study to see the value of my service. Once I understood my value, I could use self talk to regain the confidence I needed to secure the trust of new clients. Today I know when I really believe in my message, that my audience wants to hear it and that they will have little better life because of it, I become the best person to deliver that message.
Consider this:
Everything you are, your very demeanor, behavior and ultimately your success or failure is a projection of your thoughts.

Alert: Darkness and Despair or Light and Hope; Your Choice

With a heavy sigh, Kelly dropped the phone from ear to leg and let it barely hang from limp fingers as shoulders slumped back into six inches of engulfing chair cushion. Sure that life was over, the room seemed to darken around wide eyes and close in. There was no desire to face spouse or children. As comforting and supportive as they’d been they would be too disappointed now. Having sunk so far below the surface, it wasn’t even in view -not even sure which way was up anymore. How could this have happened when just a short time ago, there had been such promise, such hope; now nothing but despair and humiliation!
Hi, I’m Kelly Strong. Kind of ironic, isn’t it? The name, I mean. That was me just a few short months ago. You see, what I didn’t know then was that even in those dark, heavy hours, I had the ability to pull myself from that abyss, cultivate the light within me by my creator and create a brighter today. The seed was inside me, between my ears; thought.
Sadly, I had constructed that moment one small, but powerful thought at a time. I had done it by the mismanagement of my thoughts. Shortly after that experience, I learned to govern my mind with intelligence and work my thoughts to a fruitful end. A whole new world full of hope and possibilities came to view as I broke the surface into the sunlight.
What got me to that state didn’t change over night, but with practice actions followed and with every step, hope strengthened and confidence grew. I discovered that as the lord of my own thoughts, no matter my situation, I am the creator of my destiny. I can foolishly govern my thoughts and experience degradation and despair or wisely administer the design of a worthwhile and fulfilling dream.

James Allen in, As a Man Thinketh says, “Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armoury of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.” He adds that with the proper application of the principles of thought, we either ascend to great heights or by abuse and wrong application, we descend to hopelessness. All the degrees of character are found between those two extremes. Most importantly, we are the maker and master.

Struggles seem to come at various unexpected times in our lives. We can’t predict their appearance, but we can choose how we handle them. Steven Covey proposes we take a moment between the event and our reaction to purposefully create our response. Not only does this suggest a wise course of action, it also establishes our ability to choose to make a difference.

“It is often in the trial of adversity that we learn those most critical lessons that form our character and shape our destiny.”, Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Beware the Malnourished Mind

Today I posted on Facebook, “Thom Neil thinks a mind that only feeds on itself soon becomes malnourished”. One comment was, “Hum…OK. So when I’m told “gee, you really like to pick everyone’s brains” it’s a good thing? …”

 

At our local office, we have a weekly study where we are discussing the principles of successful professionals. In that weekly gathering, we often hear someone say something along the lines of, “Wow, that makes me think of thus and such”, or “What do you think would happen if…”. The best ideas for the participants businesses seem to come from the stimulating principles or conversation. These are seasoned professionals gaining their best ideas from the inspiration of good thinking.

I’m what you could call a seminar junkie. I’ve been to hundreds on numerous topics and the best I’ve been to are the ones that get me thinking. Sometimes I’m not even getting ideas on the topic the speaker has chosen. Recently I attended an evening with the National Speakers Association where the presenter demonstrated various ideas for story telling, but the most profound thing I took from that meeting was how I could tell a story because I’ve been telling them in theaters for years as I’ve acted them out.

One young salesman observed several changes in the way his company was being run after his manager had attended a week-long sales management school. The frequency of sales meetings, changes to the compensation plan, newly designed business cards and stationary were among the improvements yet none of these techniques had been specifically suggested in the school.

There are many ways to stimulate your mind, but here are a few you might try (and with any luck this will stimulate even better ideas for you to try).

• Join and meet regularly with an association of professionals in your chosen occupation. Get around other success oriented people, rub shoulders (and minds) with them. Hopefully you’ll start saying things like, “You know, during that meeting the other day, I got to thinking…”.

• Join an organization or get your own group together of forward thinkers outside of your profession. Start a Mastermind. Being around people who have different business interests helps you see the big picture and gets you thinking outside the proverbial box.

• Find a friend or family member you can just bounce ideas off. You’re bound to discover new insights that could change your life, the lives of those in your community or even the world.

I’ve read that principles give us the light to illuminate the paths before us. Notice it didn’t say that principles were the exact steps to take, but the light to illuminate. So light your path with inspiration by stimulating your mind. You may just be amazed at the incredible future you see in front of you.

Caution: The Radio Waves Your Receiving Could Be Dangerous!

There had been a lot of buz about “The Secret” or “The Law of Attraction” in the last couple of years. Many of my friends have touted it’s truths, others, are not just skeptical, but out right refute the premise. Some have even gone so far as to say that it’s the devil’s work. I however, have to agree with the Law of Attraction, and it’s like anything else, it must be understood for what it is.
To suggest that all I have to do is imagine and believe something I want into existence, is going a bit far. I like how Leslie Householder described it. Think of a radio. When turned on would you say that it attracted the radio waves, sucking them into the room and into it’s case? No, certainly not. The radio merely tuned into the radio waves that were there all along. When searching for the salt in your pantry, if you choose to use the law of attraction to find it after 10 frustrating minutes, it doesn’t simply appear (though, granted it may seem to), it was there all along, but you were in the frame of mind to see it.
May I suggest it is the same with most anything we want; success, money, love, a vacation. When we have our vision of what we want clearly in our mind, with full expectation that we will get it, we open our eyes to what is around us. We open our minds to the inspiration for the correct action to take to achieve that desire.
Have you ever noticed it works in reverse as well? If we dwell on the negative, we typically get it. Sometimes it’s the worry that defeats us. If I’m afraid of making my rent or mortgage payment next month, if I’m worrying and dwelling on that fear, I’m not open to the options that could change my situation and afford me the ability to pay it and perhaps never have that concern again.
A good friend of mine shared a great story that illustrates this beautifully. When she worked at a previous agency, her broker would introduce her as the woman who handled all the difficult cases. Sure, her boss was just trying to show how good she was at her job and the confidence one could have in here abilities, but how destructive! She said all her transactions were nightmares. When she saw this coloration, she emphatically requested to never be introduced that way again. It worked. She started having great clients with few troubles. Now, did the mere change in wording cause the right people to suddenly appear for her to work with? How absurd! Of course not! What it did, however, was to allow my friend to see the opportunities around her to work with great people and when challenges did arise, they were no longer nightmares, but simply challenges to overcome. With that attitude she had the presence of mind to see the solutions.
So perhaps we should say that rather than we attracting something to us, we are attracted (tuned in) to what we want.

Capacity is a State of Mind

A young executive was called in to his department head’s office. “Jim, you know we’re short now that Henry left on such short notice. I’ve already spoken with the other two in your department and they feel they already swamped and just can’t take on anymore responsibility. I’m asking you to do what you can and do both jobs for now until we can hire someone new”. “Sir, I’ll do my best”.

Later that evening with the office quiet and his own work finished, Jim when to work on his idea bucket. He determined to find more time. He felt like a three legged squirrel in a nut race. He was just as busy as his colleagues who had wiggled out of the extra work, but having learned that it never pays to turn down what could be an opportunity, he had agreed to this and was determined to squeeze the time out of his already hectic workday. To his surprise, he came up with several time-saving ideas. For example, he could work out an arrangement for his assistant to route all his routine calls to a certain hour of the day. He would check his email, snail mail and voice messages at appointed times as well. He cut his usual conference periods from 15 to 10 minutes. He later discovered that his assistant was willing to take on several time consuming details for him.

Jim was shocked that he had allowed himself to become so inefficient! He was successful at not just squeezing in the extra work, but found that he was sending out twice as many letters, taking 50 percent more phone calls, attending half again the number of meetings in just a week’s time and all without added pressure.

After just a few weeks, he met with his department head again who confessed he could not find anyone satisfactory and had already gained approval to combine Jim’s job with the other and give him a substantial raise in pay.

Are you ready to give yourself a raise in pay? Or do you just want to ease your stress levels? You can do more than you realize. How much you can do is largely determined by how much you think you can do. If you take the time to really look at your situation and believe you can do more. You will unlock doors, open windows and see a beautiful vista of new ideas to improve your efficiency and add joy to your life.

“Capacity is indeed a state of mind”, David Schwartz.

 

Story adapted from David Schwartz’s The Magic of Thinking Big

Solve Absolutely Everything You Currently Face

There are numerous well known happenings in the year 1847 among them Samuel Colt sells his first revolver pistol to the U.S government, The Treaty of Cahuenga ends the fighting in the Mexican-American War in California and The United States issues its first postage stamps.  OK, so maybe they aren’t that well known.  The year 1847 is known where I live here in Utah as the beginnings of our state. It’s the year the Mormon Pioneers entered the Salt Lake Valley and started to settle the then, barren wilderness.  There was a fascinating real estate transaction that took place near Sacramento, CA that year.  A rancher, with the gold gleam in his eye, sold his farm and scurried south to chase rumors of gold.

The buyer built a mill on the stream that ran through the land.  In January the following year his daughter played with some sand that she took from the race way.  As she sifted the sand through her fingers by the fire, a visitor noticed a shimmer and upon investigation gold was discovered. Since that time, it’s been estimated that Sutter’s Mill has produced over $38 million.

How often do we look for our “gold” off on some new endeavor. Or maybe we complain that we can’t get ours because we have the wrong job, or unlucky, or don’t know the ‘right’ people? Maybe we lament that we don’t have the education, the resources or the brains or you think “you need money to make money”. Notice that it wasn’t the cunning of Colonel Sutter that resulted in his owning one of the most profitable gold mines in the world. He wasn’t even looking for gold and had no idea he’d be blessed with that bounty.

Consider this analogy that was shared with me by my good friend Dr. Paul Jenkins: Think about the acorn. It doesn’t become a great oak by running around searching for leaf molecules and bark molecules to build the tree.  “It simply exists right where it is and uses the resources immediately available to it.”  Dr. Paul says, “The resources you need to solve absolutely everything you currently face are right there around you.”  Just in case you didn’t get that:  the resources you need to solve absolutely everything you currently face are right there around you. Dr. Paul continues, “Start with what you know to do and then the next steps will become evident.”

Now, look around you. See the people. Talk to them about your dreams and ideas. You never know who will have just the right connection to help you take that next step.

True greatness is starting where you are, using what you have, doing what you can. ~Arthur Ashe

Newest “Gotta-Have” from Google: Google Voice

Have you ever wished you could have a message on your phone that told that certain annoying person, “The number you have dialed is no longer in service”?  Well now you can.

Enter:  Google Voice, my new favorite from Google.  So what is it?  Google’s answer to voice mail and “follow-me”.  It’s a phone number which forwards to your existing telephones; work, home and mobile…and so much more.

Choose you’re number from area codes anywhere in the country or locally.  If you’re fortunate enough, you might be able to use a vanity number like (801) Call-Pam (225-5726).  Record your name and a default greeting and you’re up and running.

Now comes the fun part.  Import your contacts (done for you automatically, from your Gmail) and customize, customize, customize.  Categorize your contacts into groups and give Google Voice specific instructions and greetings. Maybe you even want to record a special greeting just for that special someone or Mom, do it!  You can set distinct instructions for any and all contacts.  Yes, that really includes sending Aunt Gert straight to voice mail every time she calls or tell Billy Bob that you’re number is no longer in service.  Along with  customization, the fact that you can set specific schedules for forwarding to each phone and appoint “Do not Disturb” times is pretty cool.

I love how it transcribes the voice messages (albeit, not perfectly -some are good for a laugh, but you get the gist of the message) and sends both the transcription and the audio to my email. It will also send text message with the transcription.

With all of that, probably my favorite is that we use it as our “Home” phone number since we no longer have a land-line. It rings all of us at the same time and whoever answers first gets the call. If the person calling wanted another one of us, we just his star and the call  is transferred to the other phone. It’s kind of like picking up the other extension with a land line…pretty cool!

If you like the idea of Google Voice, you’ll need to request an invite from www.google.com/voice.  You could end up waiting several weeks so if you just can’t wait, ask your friends on Facebook if anybody has and extra.  You can even find them for a couple of dollars on eBay.  So go ahead, try it out, play with it, make it yours and have fun!

Last week of the Super “Facing Your Giants” Coaching deal!

OK folks, this is the last week of the great deal with Dr. Paul’s “Facing Your Giants” eCoaching. We got a terrific price on the whole coaching with conference calls. Which by the way are awesome because they are small groups so you get to ask your own questions to Dr. Paul.  He really wants to make this as personal as he can. Tresta says the calls are the most valuable. As I said at the beginning, this deal is only for one more week. August 31st is the last day we have on this great coaching. Remember you get:

Included in the Facing Your Giants package:

• 4- Downloadable video presentations with Dr. Paul Jenkins

• 4- Downloadable audio versions of the presentations

• 4- Extensive practical exercise worksheets

• 4- Coaching conference calls with Dr. Paul and other Live On Purpose Staff

To purchase all of these components separately and privately would cost you around $800.00! Dr. Paul is making this package available to you at a significant savings through the new media!  -Because this is a home course, completely downloadable with no DVDs, CDs or books to purchase and ship, he offers this for $295.00. Now he’s agreed to offer this to you with my discount code “Tresta” for only $40.95!  It’s ridiculous, but true.  Don’t be fooled by the price. It’s worth every penny.

So I really encourage you to take advantage of this great opportunity right now.  Read more in my previous post or Click Here to purchase it now.

Facing Your Giants Great Summer Special

What is your giant, and what is it guarding?

My friend and mentor Dr. Paul Jenkins asked me this as we sat in his office not long ago.  I had the privilege to attend a short introductory seminar later that evening.  My wife Tresta and I then spent time with him via his “Facing Your Giants” e-coaching program.  Wow!  It was awesome!  He really helped us discover what was stopping us from living the life we wanted and nail down steps we could take to break free.

When speaking with Dr. Paul the other day, he agreed to offer this e-coaching program to my family, friends and associates at a huge discount.  For now I only can only get this discount through August 31st, 2009.  I know, we all hate the deep discount being only good for the next “x” number of days, but I’ll encourage you to get his e-coaching even after the discount is past.   It’s that good! Still, with money as tight as it is for most of us right now, I think it’s awesome he’s willing to do this for us.

Dr. Paul says, “As you face the giants in your life, whether it be a large debt, a challenging relationship, or a daunting health condition, remember that it is only a “giant” compared to something else – usually compared to what you have experienced before or compared to what you think you can handle.”

Facing Your Giants is a home coaching package that explores a new way to face the giants in your life.  Dr. Paul Jenkins brings 13 years of experience as a Clinical Psychologist and facilitator of personal change to this program which is designed to help you overcome the giants in your life.  Dr. Paul provides practical and compelling guidance and tools needed to transform adversity into opportunity.  As you listen to the audio or watch the video presentations, and complete the exercises included in this package, a transformation will take place.  You will gain from this program the ability to face the giants in your life with confidence and excitement.  As you overcome the giants that you face you will also give others the permission and confidence to overcome theirs.

Included in the Facing Your Giants package:

• 4- Downloadable video presentations with Dr. Paul Jenkins

• 4- Downloadable audio versions of the presentations

• 4- Extensive practical exercise worksheets

• 4- Coaching conference calls with Dr. Paul and other Live On Purpose Staff

To purchase all of these components separately and privately would cost you around $800.00! Dr. Paul is making this package available to you at a significant savings through the new media!  -Because this is a home course, completely downloadable with no DVDs, CDs or books to purchase and ship, he offers this for $295.00. Now he’s agreed to offer this to you with my discount code “Tresta” for only $40.95!  It’s ridiculous, but true.  Don’t be fooled by the price. It’s worth every penny.

Listen to this free teleseminar for a more thorough introduction to the program: (the link will open a new window or tab in your browser. To come back here, just close it and click here to get our special discount.)

http://www.liveonpurposeradio.com/radio/2009/01/21/facing-your-giants-teleseminar/

A message from Dr. Paul about “Facing Your Giants”

Here’s what he has to say in his own words:

You are about to start one of the most important things you can do for yourself in conquering your giants.

Last summer I took my son out to the West Desert in Utah looking for bugs for his 9th grade biology assignment to make a collection. While we were driving along this dirt road, we saw something moving and stopped the car. It turned out to be a tarantula, which we excitedly collected and returned as a live specimen to his biology teacher. I thought to myself – that thing is a GIANT. Well, that is only true compared to other, smaller spiders. Compared to me, that spider is pretty small. As you face the giants in your life, whether it be a large debt, a challenging relationship, or a daunting health condition; remember that it is only “giant” compared to something else – usually compared to what you have experienced before or compared to what you think you can handle. Keep the perspective that giants are all relative, and work on finding something in your life that is bigger than your giant – like your God, your vision, or your purpose.

Occasionally along the path to our dream we encounter giants that stand in our way and threaten us. In a menacing way, they insist that we turn back, trying to discourage and intimidate. These giants may be immovable objects, opposing individuals, sluggish systems, or crushing burdens. In a scene from Harry Potter, the kids encounter a huge three-headed dog-like beast named “Fluffy”. After fleeing from the beast, Hermione chides the boys a bit for not noticing that the beast was actually guarding something – a trap door. Ask yourself what your particular giant is guarding. Only by moving beyond and through the giants can we attain the dream. Sometimes the brick walls are there only to test how badly we want something.

Everyone I know has giants in their life right now. Our desire for security sometimes gets us stuck on this side of our giants. I really like what Helen Keller had to say about security – and for those of you who may have forgotten, Helen Keller was both blind and deaf… “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature nor do the children of man as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” – Helen Keller

After purchasing the program, you will find in the coaching center four episodes or sessions which I present in both video and audio formats. You can listen or watch on your computer, or download the audio for your iPod or mp3 player. Start with the first episode (brilliant eh?) and then make sure you do the worksheets for this episode before moving on to the second. You will find the worksheets for each episode as pdf files in the coaching center. Welcome to “Facing Your Giants”. All my best to you in this endeavor!

Dr. Paul

Now I really encourage you to click here, order the coaching for $40.95 and get started right now.  Seriously, I think this is an awesome opportunity! I don’t ever want to sound like a “hard sell”.  Just do it, I’m sure you’ll be glad you did.  Oh yeah, you can get his personal, live-in-person, coaching at a great discount too. Check it out.

Thom

Hello world!

Here you will soon find various blogs from me, Thom Neil; Keynoter, Trainer, Author and Coach.

To get started, let me introduce myself.

I help people  and their companies create World Class team environments that improve performance and result in measurable increased business.

I am a keynote speaker who uses life experiences and interactive activities to engage your audience in a thought provoking and life changing experience which can revolutionize your organization’s power of performance.

I am well studied in Linguistics, the arts and leadership skills for a balanced life. While a REALTOR^(R) for more nearly 10 years, I have served in many committee and leadership positions in the local and state associations including Utah County Association of REALTORS^(R), Board and LeadershipUAR’s Board of Trustees. I continually serve in leadership of my church congregation as well as the Boy Scouts of America’s local Council.

Come back often to find stimulating (we hope!) blogging on leadership and life balance priciples.